9 hours ago
BY: Burton Fletcher, Guru
When I was in law school, I had a simple mantra that I repeated to myself: “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”
I said it over and over.
Law school was demanding. There were cases to read, rules to memorize, examinations to prepare for, and always another deadline waiting around the corner. Like most students pursuing a difficult goal, I had moments when I was tired, frustrated, or uncertain.
That little sentence helped.
“If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”
Those eight words reminded me that while I could not control everything around me, I could control my preparation, my attitude, and my effort. Nobody else could study for me. Nobody else could sit for my examinations. Nobody else could build the future I wanted.
Looking back, I realize that I was using something people have used for centuries: a mantra.
A mantra is simply a word, phrase, or short statement that we repeat to focus our thoughts. Some mantras are spiritual. Some are motivational. Others are simply reminders of the kind of person we want to be.
There is something powerful about the words we repeatedly tell ourselves.
If we constantly tell ourselves, “I can’t do this,” we should not be surprised when our confidence begins to disappear. If we repeatedly say, “Nothing ever works out for me,” we may eventually start looking for evidence to prove us right.
But we can also choose words that move us in another direction.
“I can handle this.”
“One day at a time.”
“Do the next right thing.”
“Keep moving forward.”
“Progress, not perfection.”
“Today is another opportunity.”
“Be kind, even when it is difficult.”
And one of my favorites: “This too shall pass.”
Those phrases will not magically solve our problems. A mantra cannot pay the mortgage, pass an examination, repair a relationship, or turn a failing business into a successful one.
But it can influence the person who must deal with those problems.
That distinction is important. A good mantra is not a substitute for action. It is a preparation for action.
Suppose you are about to walk into a difficult meeting. You might quietly remind yourself, “Listen first. Speak carefully.”
Suppose you are beginning an exercise program after years of inactivity. Your mantra might be, “A little better every day.”
An entrepreneur struggling through the early years of a business might say, “Learn, adjust, and keep going.”
Someone facing disappointment might repeat, “I cannot change yesterday, but I can influence tomorrow.”
A person struggling with anger might say, “Not every battle needs to be fought.”
There is wisdom in having a few words ready when life becomes complicated.
I particularly like mantras that emphasize what we can control.
We spend an enormous amount of emotional energy worrying about things beyond our control: what somebody thinks about us, what somebody said about us, decisions other people make, mistakes from years ago, tomorrow’s economy and yesterday’s disappointments.
A useful mantra brings us back to the small territory over which we still have considerable authority: ourselves.
My attitude.
My effort.
My words.
My decisions.
My conduct.
My response.
Those things belong to me.
That is why “If it’s to be, it’s up to me” meant so much during my law school years. It wasn’t telling me that I controlled the outcome of everything. I certainly didn’t. It was reminding me that I had a responsibility to do my part.
There is another mantra I have always admired: “Fall seven times, stand up eight.”
Whether the arithmetic is perfect is beside the point. The message certainly is.
Life will knock you down occasionally.
Businesses fail. Relationships end. Opportunities disappear. People disappoint us. We make mistakes. Plans that looked wonderful on Monday can be in pieces by Friday.
The question isn’t whether we will occasionally fall.
For people of faith, a favorite Scripture can serve much the same purpose. A familiar verse repeated during a difficult moment can remind us that today’s troubles are not the entirety of our story. Prayer itself can become a way to redirect our attention from fear toward faith, gratitude, and purpose.
Perhaps one of the simplest and most valuable mantras is: “Be grateful.”
Try saying those two words before getting out of bed tomorrow morning.
Be grateful.
You are alive.
There is another sunrise.
There are people to encourage, work to accomplish, mistakes to correct, opportunities to discover, and kindness to give away.
Gratitude doesn’t require us to pretend that everything is wonderful. It simply reminds us that even when something is wrong, everything is not necessarily wrong.
I would encourage you to develop your own personal mantra.
Keep it short. Make it memorable. Make it positive. Most importantly, make it meaningful to you.
Write it on an index card. Put it on the refrigerator. Tape it beside your bathroom mirror. Keep it on your desk. Make it the background on your telephone if that helps.
And when life becomes noisy, repeat it.
Maybe yours will be: “I will do what I can with what I have.”
Perhaps: “Choose kindness.”
Or: “Keep going.”
Or even the little sentence that accompanied me through law school many years ago: “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”
Eight words.
Nothing particularly fancy about them.
But sometimes the right words, repeated at the right time, can change our attitude. A changed attitude can change our actions. Repeated actions long enough can change our habits.
And our habits have a remarkable way of changing our lives.
So choose carefully the words you repeatedly whisper to yourself.
You may be listening more closely than you realize.
When I was in law school, I had a simple mantra that I repeated to myself: “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”
I said it over and over.
Law school was demanding. There were cases to read, rules to memorize, examinations to prepare for, and always another deadline waiting around the corner. Like most students pursuing a difficult goal, I had moments when I was tired, frustrated, or uncertain.
That little sentence helped.
“If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”
Those eight words reminded me that while I could not control everything around me, I could control my preparation, my attitude, and my effort. Nobody else could study for me. Nobody else could sit for my examinations. Nobody else could build the future I wanted.
Looking back, I realize that I was using something people have used for centuries: a mantra.
A mantra is simply a word, phrase, or short statement that we repeat to focus our thoughts. Some mantras are spiritual. Some are motivational. Others are simply reminders of the kind of person we want to be.
There is something powerful about the words we repeatedly tell ourselves.
If we constantly tell ourselves, “I can’t do this,” we should not be surprised when our confidence begins to disappear. If we repeatedly say, “Nothing ever works out for me,” we may eventually start looking for evidence to prove us right.
But we can also choose words that move us in another direction.
“I can handle this.”
“One day at a time.”
“Do the next right thing.”
“Keep moving forward.”
“Progress, not perfection.”
“Today is another opportunity.”
“Be kind, even when it is difficult.”
And one of my favorites: “This too shall pass.”
Those phrases will not magically solve our problems. A mantra cannot pay the mortgage, pass an examination, repair a relationship, or turn a failing business into a successful one.
But it can influence the person who must deal with those problems.
That distinction is important. A good mantra is not a substitute for action. It is a preparation for action.
Suppose you are about to walk into a difficult meeting. You might quietly remind yourself, “Listen first. Speak carefully.”
Suppose you are beginning an exercise program after years of inactivity. Your mantra might be, “A little better every day.”
An entrepreneur struggling through the early years of a business might say, “Learn, adjust, and keep going.”
Someone facing disappointment might repeat, “I cannot change yesterday, but I can influence tomorrow.”
A person struggling with anger might say, “Not every battle needs to be fought.”
There is wisdom in having a few words ready when life becomes complicated.
I particularly like mantras that emphasize what we can control.
We spend an enormous amount of emotional energy worrying about things beyond our control: what somebody thinks about us, what somebody said about us, decisions other people make, mistakes from years ago, tomorrow’s economy and yesterday’s disappointments.
A useful mantra brings us back to the small territory over which we still have considerable authority: ourselves.
My attitude.
My effort.
My words.
My decisions.
My conduct.
My response.
Those things belong to me.
That is why “If it’s to be, it’s up to me” meant so much during my law school years. It wasn’t telling me that I controlled the outcome of everything. I certainly didn’t. It was reminding me that I had a responsibility to do my part.
There is another mantra I have always admired: “Fall seven times, stand up eight.”
Whether the arithmetic is perfect is beside the point. The message certainly is.
Life will knock you down occasionally.
Businesses fail. Relationships end. Opportunities disappear. People disappoint us. We make mistakes. Plans that looked wonderful on Monday can be in pieces by Friday.
The question isn’t whether we will occasionally fall.
For people of faith, a favorite Scripture can serve much the same purpose. A familiar verse repeated during a difficult moment can remind us that today’s troubles are not the entirety of our story. Prayer itself can become a way to redirect our attention from fear toward faith, gratitude, and purpose.
Perhaps one of the simplest and most valuable mantras is: “Be grateful.”
Try saying those two words before getting out of bed tomorrow morning.
Be grateful.
You are alive.
There is another sunrise.
There are people to encourage, work to accomplish, mistakes to correct, opportunities to discover, and kindness to give away.
Gratitude doesn’t require us to pretend that everything is wonderful. It simply reminds us that even when something is wrong, everything is not necessarily wrong.
I would encourage you to develop your own personal mantra.
Keep it short. Make it memorable. Make it positive. Most importantly, make it meaningful to you.
Write it on an index card. Put it on the refrigerator. Tape it beside your bathroom mirror. Keep it on your desk. Make it the background on your telephone if that helps.
And when life becomes noisy, repeat it.
Maybe yours will be: “I will do what I can with what I have.”
Perhaps: “Choose kindness.”
Or: “Keep going.”
Or even the little sentence that accompanied me through law school many years ago: “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”
Eight words.
Nothing particularly fancy about them.
But sometimes the right words, repeated at the right time, can change our attitude. A changed attitude can change our actions. Repeated actions long enough can change our habits.
And our habits have a remarkable way of changing our lives.
So choose carefully the words you repeatedly whisper to yourself.
You may be listening more closely than you realize.
